"There are fears that sit in the darkness of emotions".

When they unfold as does the path I walk down, I feel each one's screams echoing in the walls of my mind - am I crazy? Hardly, simply afraid that the forward path is just the circle recapping the past once again. Like a terrible joke at my expense.

However, there is no guarantee, no certainty, no determination that the past will repeat and it is finding comfort in a broken past that is clung to like the last thread of sanity that anything beyond pain could be real, permanent and part of me.

Why choose the past of pieces, tears, blood and hurt is in the predictability, rather assumed predictability, which in itself is a lie told unto itself. I am that lie hiding in the darkness I have come to know oh so well.

Yet, to escape this place, the room I have become so accustomed to is to wander into a light unfamiliar and while often promised, never delivered.

"There is strength in possibility There is strength in hope. And there is fear in the noise that drowns out the light from my heart yearning to break free from the prison I have adapted to as my normal".

I feel the fears in the isolating silence surrounding me. I walk this alone knowing it may be more of the same. However, it is that slight chance, that slight inkling of something more that breathes life into my forgotten heart which permits me to continue, determined to see the other side for once.

My fears keep me company, reminding me there is always darkness in light and light in darkness. The path will soon show which will be revealed and that which is meant for me, this time as I take the next step and then the next step.

Always unknown, always darkest before the beginning of a new direction. It is so such confusion may be clarity of love rather than painful despair.


Hally's Blog

The expressive diaries from thoughts, perspectives, knowledge, experience, stories, creative emotions, fiction, non-fiction and all else in between. 

Such is Hally's Blog.

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